General Red Dragon, nice to meet you.
The White Jade Goddess is our family treasure.
It was robbed from my grandfather's generation.
We always want to get it back.
That's why we become bandits.
In these years, we robbed tons of gold.
If you can get it back for us,
I am willing to give you fifty thousand taels of gold.
However, since we came here,
we have been tailed by the Imperial Gold Shield Constable.
If we don't kill them all,
our business will be disclosed.
They can never escape.
Friends, come out.
Jin Buer, you are notorious in central China.
Now you come to the border to trade with the Silver Armor bandits.
Aren't you afraid of the law?
Sure I am.
But if you don't go back,
no one will know I have committed a crime, right?
You go back to report to Captain Iron first.
Okay.
To fix the bandits, get their chief first.
Go.
If the forehead is a bit wide,
the cheekbones are a bit thin,
and the nose is a bit tall,
that will be perfect.
I am most satisfied with the teeth.
Well, I can say that, this is a perfect man in the world.
Hey, don't stay in the water too long.
It will hurt your kidneys.
Smart guy, pick the fish please.
Hey, you have got poor kidneys, haven't you?
I am so smart, but you want me to pick the fish for you only.
Hey, we eat fish every meal.
Say if you can get a chicken next time, it would be perfect.
Hey, I mean it.
How come you are so good at fishing?
To achieve the best kung-fu in the world, speed is the key.
Who taught you so?
My grandpa taught me.
Do you believe in your grandpa?
He just loved buying the secret scrolls of kung-fu.
But he read without practicing, why do you still trust him?
Of course. My grandpa also taught me one thing.
What is it?
The essence of kung-fu is speed.
The essence of love is sacrifice.
The essence of strategy is patience.
The essence of love is sacrifice?
If you want to leave a girl, you can say so, if not, no one trusts you.
My grandpa is right.
I agree with him too.
The essence of love is sacrifice, it is absolutely right.
To sacrifice for the woman you love most,
it is the greatest love.
When did you come here?
I didn't even notice that.
You must be very good at kung-fu.
Maybe you are too poor at kung-fu.
Oh, you are poor in kung-fu.
So, you're even inferior to him.
So cool.
Who are you?
I am a wandering doctor.
The sun is too hot, it's not wise to walk a long way under it.
So I took a nap on the tree.
We are two cops of the local government.
My name is Chen Yungren, you can call me Brad.
This is Liu Jianmeng, you can call him Young Master.
I see. Nice to meet you, sir.
You look like a rascal.
Don't commit crimes in this town.
If you are caught by me, you will be damn shit.
I am only an innocent guy, don't mistake me, sir.
Stop bluffing. Let's go.
Don't play tricks.
Don't meet me again.
Court...
Please, two chicken legs for me.
Why don't you wash the clothes?
I have nothing to wear now.
Listen, if you don't wash the clothes tonight,
you cannot go to sleep.
How can they wear...
so many clothes in a day?
She took her family's clothes to us too.
Who made us wear these clothes?
Our colleagues patrolled outside,
but we have to work this dump shit.
Why?
It's because we are not constable.
We are junior cops on probation.
When can we become constable?
We can be promoted once every five years, maybe twenty years.
So how can we become a Gold Shield Constable?
Wow, grade eight, so it takes forty years.
Because you're my buddy, that's why I work with you.
My goal is to open a small shop.
Where I give woman plastic surgery and cure men's impotence.
I can make a lot of money.
Forget curing impotence please.
Murder...
What happened?
Go to Mr. Zhang's home now...
Go check it out.
Go to Mr. Zhang's home now.
How dare you two order us?
To fix you scums, trash is more than enough.
What do you mean by scums?
Captain.
Murders happened at Mr. Zhang's home.
Got it, the constable will go check it.
You guys better go back to wash the clothes.
Hey...
We can fight.
Why don't you let us go?
Try to beat me, come on.
No, we are colleagues, aren't we?
We are colleagues, right?
I just want to beat my colleague.
It's all right...
You junior cops, better behave yourselves.
Let's go check it out. Go.
Go...
If you didn't stop me, I would have killed him with my Dragon's Fist.
Make it next time.
The killers are thorough. They didn't even let a dog or chick alive.
Why didn't they spare a dog?
Wow...
It's still alive, isn't it?
Let go of me.
Let go of me, or I will kill you.
Hey, it hurts. Come and help me please.
Come and help me.
Help... I want to kill you.
What is it about?
What? What do you mean?
These people just covered their ears, without any obvious wounds.
No...
The blood is found on the first layer of skin.
No cuts and not much bleeding.
It must be Acoustic Power.
I mean it.
I learnt that from Coroner Song's notes, my grandpa's collection.
Who is Coroner Song?
He was a famous coroner in the Song Dynasty.
He broke many tough criminal cases.
Oh, you don't know about that.
You can choose not trusting me.
But I think they were killed by Tang's hidden weapons named...
Killing Shower.
Wow, his back was badly wounded.
This guy was obviously badly kicked, his third...
seventh and twelfth vertebral were broken.
Stop bluffing please.
See that guy? He's stuck at the wall.
It's weird, he got no obvious wounds.
Maybe he got internal injury.
Not exactly, for those who got internal injury,
most of them would have bloody eyes.
The sword was so fast.
Did his mouth get hit by the sword?
Right, when he opened his mouth,
the killer stabbed into his mouth, cut his trachea and pulled it out.
Before the blood came out, he closed his mouth.
In this world,
only three persons can do that.
He must have poisoned lips when he was alive.
If not, the killer wouldn't have aimed at his mouth.
This is a very famous kung-fu master hired by Mr. Zhang.
His name is Yuan Yong, nick-named Fast Sword.
He was among the top five swordsmen in the world.
But he didn't have a chance to pull his sword out.
The killer was even faster than him.
Guess what was put at this place?
I heard that Mr. Zhang has got a treasure.
It is the White Jade Goddess which is as tall as a man.
It's a treasure, so the bandits came for that.
Hurry up...
Wait for me...
What's the matter?
The Gold Shield Constable are coming to our court.
The Gold Shield Constable?
Are you dreaming?
It's true, even Captain Iron is here.
Get lost.
Wait for me...
Give way, my turn please. Let me have a peep...
It's so nice to meet you.
Captain Iron is really so handsome.
What are you doing?
No wonder you have become the idols of the world.
Captain Iron hates bullshit.
We came here to investigate the murders of Zhang's family.
We will check the crime scene later.
That place stinks.
I suggest you not to go, but...
I have already asked someone to wash the place now.
I suggest you to visit there later when it is cleaned up.
Brother.
I hate stupid fools most.
Who can take me there now?
I can.
Handsome guy. He is too handsome.
Stop cleaning...
Stop it.
All of you freeze.
Get out. All of you get out.
Get out now.
Captain Iron, don't worry.
About the causes of their death,
the places and the wounds, I have marked everything.
Have you fixed it?
It's just finished.
Sir, this is the floor plan of the murder scene.
Thank you.
Hey, don't you consider asking us,
the two most handsome cops to join the investigation team?
Hey, you don't even know who the best are.
The guy shares the same thoughts as mine.
There are five killers.
They use broadsword, sword, kick, secret weapons and Eagle Claw's stance to kill.
For the two most powerful ones, one uses sword and the other kicks to kill.
Why not let them follow us?
Maybe they can help.
In this little town,
there are two young men with such insights,
don't you feel strange that they are just junior cops?
I always suspect them.
Look, he looks like a bandit.
The White Jade Goddess is over a thousand catties in weight.
Only a big carriage of six wheels can carry it.
And it can't move fast.
Let's split and trace it, maybe we can catch it.
About these two guys, don't care about them.
Sir, just leave this place to me. I can handle it.
What are you laughing at? Do you want me to beat you?
Your mom with no teeth makes me laugh.
Captain Iron said you two are suspicious.
You should not blame me.
You scum...
Hey, please stop beating me.
You have no evidence, how can you torture us to make us confess?
You have gone too far, man.
Hey...
How long do you want to pull me?
Come on, confess fast,
torture less, understand?
Okay.
I am one of the gangsters.
So, what about me?
You are a long gangster.
Pal, we don't want to cheat.
We will reincarnate and become another hero after eighteen years.
If you treat us to chicken leg and wine,
I will tell you the address and name of all the gangsters.
I will tell you everything, what do you think?
Good, no problem.
Chen Dawen.
He lives in house number four of Kaifeng East Road.
Chen Erniu,
he lives in the first house of No. 14 Baoding East Xiaohutong.
Chen Xiaogou, he has just moved out.
Why all the gangsters named Chen?
They are from Chen's family, all are fierce.
But I heard that there were only five killers.
The others watched.
You dragged me to death, man. Why did you confess?
If I didn't do so, would he let us go?
At least we can have chicken legs now.
So, what's next?
Move in.
Hey, why did you make us lock up in the same cell?
You all will have capital punishment tomorrow, better make friends with them.
Capital punishment?
No matter we have chicken legs. Poor me.
I heard that, if a bachelor's head is chopped off,
his spirit would be fed by shit.
Hey, I caught a bandit for you.
Where is my reward?
Follow me, I will pay you the money.
Wow, this is a handsome guy.
Don't bother my sleep.
If you die, you will have a long sleep.
Why not have some chats?
Maybe we will be saved by some angels tomorrow.
We should always remain hopeful.
Can you stop spitting?
This will be on my neck.
Bastard, how can you spit on it?
It's disgusting.
Pal, you will be killed anyway.
Will you feel disgusting after death?
It's hard to say.
What if I can still feel it but can't voice out?
Okay, I will change for another one.
Of course, you think that you can do anything you want with the sword?
Hey.
Once something happens,
you two just follow me.
Time is up.
Kill.
Oh no.
Someone came to save the criminals.
Poor shooting.
Oh, this is a lady.
He is really handsome.
Fight back now, pal.
To hell with you.
Don't let them go.
Go. Get lost.
Again...
Go...
You silly fool.
Run.
Go...go.
You two came to cheat for the reward?
What are you doing?
Why bother?
For young people, falling in love at first sight is nothing strange.
Falling in love at first sight?
You bastard. You don't fall for me...
But fall for another guy?
Are you crazy?
She is a lady.
She is sissy and she has tits.
- Soft please. - Sis.
Sis? But you don't have any.
Are you blind?
I have some special smell.
Once a man smells it,
he will fall for me with no reason.
You ugly scum, how can you treat me as a man?
Objection, I am not very handsome, but I am handsome.
You can tell I have got camera face.
Your words are insulting.
Bitch.
Bastard, to hell with you. Go.
Don't go!
Don't go.
I won't go. No.
We are cops, now we want to arrest you.
Drop your weapons.
Aren't you two criminals?
We are framed, now we can redeem ourselves by sending you two to jail.
To hell with you.
Your nose bleeds.
Did you beat me?
So what?
Better see which is faster, your fist or my sword?
I can't see it.
Okay, once again.
Mine is faster.
How dare you! I, Lady Fire Dragon, won't let you go.
Lady Fire Dragon? So you are Lady Water Dragon?
You two are the notorious sisters, you are under arrest now.
Freeze.
Hey, beat him now.
It will hurt.
You are fine.
Stop, no snake please.
You got the sword, I need a weapon too.
Drop the snake, let's fight without weapons.
Okay, one, two, three.
Why have I fallen for her at the first sight?
Isn't it so called love at first sight?
Why do I feel like soaking in warm water?
I feel so warm and comfortable.
Am I already in love?
No fighting, let's fly.
I will show you my flying stance.
When I was eight,
I jumped a bit and could achieve the height you did.
Do you think you can fly high? Damn it.
Hey, have you kissed enough?
How were you framed?
We are framed.
The White Jade Goddess was robbed, they took us one of the robbers.
Do you want fight back for your innocence?
Of course we want that.
Greet me God-mother, I'll tell you how.
God-mother, say it please.
Have you ever heard of Treasure Inn?
Treasure Inn?
This is a place for hunting treasure.
In every spring and autumn,
there will be auctions for treasures.
Go, let's go there to get the criminals.
Okay, why?
The White Jade Goddess is difficult to sell.
It's hard to sell in Central China.
If they want to sell it for big money, they can only go to Treasure Inn.
That's right, at the mid-autumn festival,
all the buyers will be there for the auction.
Let's go.
Go...
Hey, freeze.
It's under conditions.
No more conditions please, we are a family now.
Stop flirting. Romance makes you lose your mind, doesn't it?
If you want me to get the White Jade Goddess back,
you must help me rob one hundred thousand taels of silver.
Come on, the reward of the wanted guys is more than that.
You will get all the money.
Deal.
According to the young man, there were five killers.
They killed a score of guards.
Some people got many wounds.
They must be shot by Tang's secret weapons,
the Killing Shower.
The killer must be Tang Ao, nick-named King of Thousand Hands.
The three who were killed at this corner got broken throats.
They must have been killed by Eagle Claw's Stance.
I think it was done by Yu Feng, King of Eagle Claws.
These three seemed to be slashed many times.
But the wounds were not made by swords.
I wonder, isn't it done by Lady Fox who uses Acoustic Power?
I am really curious that...
in this world, who can make...
so many powerful killers to work for him?
Only one guy can make it.
He is famous in the triad's world, he is named the King of Jokers.
Jin Buer.
And the fifth one, he uses sword to kill.
Even if we can find these five killers,
we are not confident to win.
Captain, we have got information.
Speak up.
There is a weird carriage, the wheels dig deep in the sand.
It proves that something inside is heavy.
There is a man in it, he dresses like a merchant.
Jin Buer.
Take a rest here, I'll check it out.
Let me go with you.
Do you worry that I am no match against Jin?
No, but I...
If he is alone,
it's the best chance to knock them out one by one.
Luckily we found a worn down temple here.
Is it wet?
- It's okay. - Oh, it's all wet.
Okay...
- One, two, three... - What are you counting?
I am counting the number of bastards found here.
What did you say?
You dragged us to the entrance of hell, why are you pretending?
We have no time to do such nonsense.
Cut the crap, let's fight. Come on.
Stop fighting.
Confucius said, violence cannot solve problems.
You have great flying stance.
I haven't noticed you at all.
No...
I climbed up here for a nap before you came.
I took a long sleep until just now.
Oh, I know you.
You are the guy we met near the stream.
Hey, do you have a ladder?
Yes.
Oh my God.
Oh, my waist.
May I know your name?
My name is Wen Wenqie, I am a doctor.
Hey, who is sick?
You're sick.
What a trouble to meet you.
Uncle, has the rain stopped?
We are now in a temple.
Sirs, we are singers.
We will leave once the rain stops.
I think this lady is blind, isn't she?
Yes, she was blind since birth, but she plays very good lute.
Do you want to hear a song?
It's a long night, it's nice to have some entertainment.
What a luck to meet you guys.
This song has a sad name.
It's called Sadness Everywhere.
Acoustic Power.
Cover your ears, not to hear it.
Hey, it's blocked.
I can't stop it.
Again.
What are you doing?
I am trying to expel it with my inner stance.
Why are you always after me?
But there are some people over there too.
I've been long waiting.
Lady, people should be merciful.
If you kill him, his parents will be so sad.
And his wife and children will be sad too.
Drop the lute and repent please.
You can stand my Acoustic Power, you are something.
Don't mistake me, I just can't hear well.
I won't listen to something bad.
All right, another song for you.
This is what a man should do.
Help me beat him, go now.
Leaning on the rail, rage and loathing bristling under the cap.
The rain stops, I look up to the sky.
My sighs cannot tell my rage and emotion.
My fame of thirty years becomes dust and dirt.
Eight thousand miles of journey, only with cloud and moon as companions.
Never wait and waste your time, or else you will regret it.
Wow, master, please try to hold him.
Wow, I almost regret it for my life.
The national humiliation of the Jingkang event was not revenged yet.
When can we regain our land?
Move the chariots to attack and conquer the Helan Mountain.
We want to eat the enemy's meat and drink their blood.
Let's rebuild our home...
and...
gain...
victory...
You're something.
But you are actually a lascivious scholar.
It's not decent to look and say and listen.
Stop.
You know I am a decent gentleman.
Thank you for your help.
May I know your name?
I am Wen Wenqie, I am just an ordinary doctor.
But you fight well.
So what? I can't even get my dream come true.
What is your dream?
Linglong, Yue Linglong.
The lady-boss of the Treasure Inn?
Who is she?
I heard that this lady has soft bones.
Her dance can excite every man.
For those men who watch her dance,
they will uncontrollable fall in love with her.
Are you kidding?
Then you look down upon Linglong.
Even a word from her...
can soften me...
Her words can make me feel like a dumb-bell.
If this is the case, I must go meet her.
Linglong is my everything.
So at mid-autumn festival,
you will go to Treasure Inn to meet her?
Sure.
Thank you boss, we are leaving.
The guys in the carriage, listen up, we suspect that...
this carriage is related to a crime happened in White Horse Town.
Please come out to meet our officer.
We want a statement from you.
Sir...
Sir, please don't get angry.
I think you prefer punishment to politeness.
Be careful.
Sir.
Why don't we go after them?
It's useless.
They want to shift our attention and move the White Jade Goddess away.
Their destination is only one.
Treasure Inn?
Where are they?
We were attacked by Lady Fox, Tang Ao and King of Eagle Claws.
Many buddies were killed.
Without their help,
I would have been killed too.
Are they the kids we saw in the White Horse Town?
Captain Iron,
we are willing to help.
Why did you tail me?
I suspected your identity when I first saw you.
How come a small potato at the court could be that good at Kung fu?
How can you deny for being Jin's fellow?
But I think you're a triad.
How can you prove you are a constable?
Don't let me see you again.
I won't spare you when I see you again.
I mean he would punch you.
Hey, what should we do now?
Let's go to Treasure Inn.
Why should we go?
Why not?
If we get the killers, he would lose face.
Hey, hero, you'll have companions on the way now.
Companions can teach me new things, I like that.
The moon in the desert is so pretty.
I really want to stay here for the rest of my life.
Wow, this moon is really like...
Mr. Poet, what do you think it's like?
It's like a round and big ass.
What? You ruined the romance of the night.
Sky, with my wine, may I ask how many times this bright moon appears?
I don't know what year this year is.
You are in the mood, aren't you?
Romance is inside your heart, no one can ruin it.
Why are you so happy?
It's because I can see Linglong tomorrow.
If I show up, she will take you as a scum.
You haven't loved a woman whole-heartedly.
It doesn't matter what she is thinking.
You only need to know you love her, that's all.
This is so called unrequited love.
Yeah, if she is happy, I will be happy.
If she is unhappy, I will be unhappy.
Yue Linglong is really lucky.
She has a civilized kung-fu master loving her so much.
Maybe he is not alone.
If you haven't met me first,
but if you met her first,
sure you will fall for her at first sight.
No way, this guy will kill me for sure.
Of course not. A rare kind like Linglong,
sure other men will also fall for her.
If more people appreciate her beauty and her goodness,
I will be more than happy.
You sound like a pimp.
Let's go for a walk.
Don't leave the fire, there will be many wolves at night.
If you meet them, you will be bitten to death.
I am scared.
What a good day.
We will reach the Treasure Inn half day later.
Got it?
We will not be tanned soon.
"Treasure Inn"
Hu Wa.
Mr. Wen, want some goat liver soup?
They look fierce, do they want to fight?
I don't think they are civilized guys.
You look tough, if I were them, I wouldn't dare to beat you.
No, I am kind.
No one will beat me.
I haven't seen such an ugly guy before.
He is talking about you.
I hate people messing with my hair.
Beat him.
Can you give me one more room?
Mr. Wen, on the 14th and 15th of August,
there will be Treasure Auction at the inn.
The rooms are all booked.
I just can't spare another one for you.
Well, let's set a camp out there.
Yesterday we could sleep out.
But there are many snakes outside this place.
No fire can keep them away.
If you sleep out, you will die.
So? What is it about?
I have one more room which can be spared for you.
If you don't mind, you can take that.
Thank you.
Enjoy it.
Rooms should be spare for officers.
Captain Iron is right.
This room is mine.
You don't have the keys.
How can you say that's yours?
Kid, where did you learn your kung-fu?
My grandpa taught me.
May I know his name?
He is a man of no name.
He just taught me...
the essence of kung-fu is speed.
Okay.
Let me watch your speed.
You two are really great.
I am willing to spare one more room for you to settle the argument.
Captain Iron, please stay.
Linglong.
Here you are.
She is nothing special.
But if you marry her, you will die two or three years earlier.
What if you marry me?
Marry you?
I prefer death.
Lady boss?
You the lady boss who trades goods with the triads?
I am only a woman.
Those businessmen just give me a chance to make a living.
Let me tell you frankly.
I am here to get the bandits...
and the stolen booty.
If you want to stop me, you'll be put to jail too.
Since Captain Iron wants to execute law with force,
I will not bother you all.
At that time, let's see how we act accordingly.
Mr. Jin, Captain Iron is here for you.
You'd better handle it with care.
Thank you for your care.
Linglong.
Your stance is special.
I don't fight with stance, I fight with sense.
No stance is the best stance, you're really something.
Hu Wa, bring me the wine.
Yes, Sis Linglong.
Sis Linglong.
I always want to drink with kung-fu masters.
Here is my toast.
Hey, I haven't seen you drink before.
Yes, I haven't drunk any wine before.
I didn't put any drugs in it.
You're a kind of drugs indeed.
But I am not sure...
how strong it is.
Thank you for your trouble today, take an early rest now.
Hey.
You shouldn't drink if you don't know how.
You are captivated by the big tits.
What do you mean?
I mean she's got big tits but no brain.
No, big tits...
can stimulate my brain.
That's right.
The sky is so red.
The sun has already set.
If red sky appears in a desert,
the old people will tell you a storm is coming.
How big the storm can be?
It can take a whole camel team away.
Nothing will be left.
Five tough kung-fu masters suddenly appeared.
Who are they?
Who cares. Anyway,
no one will leave this place alive.
When Silver Armor Army is here, all will die.
Every kung-fu master will sure die...
whenever they encounter such a strong army.
Pay attention to the lady boss...
and that doctor who plays the fool.
They are tough to handle.
Why don't you sleep?
I can't sleep.
Me too.
Do you want to have two lovers at the same time?
Beware this will become a tragedy.
Hey.
Why did you disguise as Linglong?
I didn't disguise, you just lost your mind.
I am too happy to be invited to your room.
What else can make you happier?
I dare not ask for more.
I am already satisfied with what I am having now.
We have been friends for three years.
You came here for a drink and then...
Left at the mid-autumn festival.
You didn't come here for trade or for revenge.
What do you come here for?
What do you mean?
You know...
many scums came here.
They even want to bully me.
But all were knocked out by me.
I know.
But you know, I helped you to dispatch many scums.
How about you?
What do you want from me?
Nothing...
I hate liars.
Better be honest.
I don't lie, I am honest.
Speak up.
Linglong, I...
I am a scholar, sorry that it's hard to tell, I...
Do you think I dare not kill you?
Linglong, if you point the sword at me like this,
I can easily escape like this.
So, if you put the sword like this, this can kill.
Are you from the court?
No.
So, who are you?
I am...
What?
I am a man who loves you.
I know I am no match for you.
But if I can stay like this forever,
just let me think of you from afar, I will be most satisfied.
You can have many women.
No, in my mind, no woman is as good as you.
When I saw you three years ago, I told myself that...
I was too lucky.
Finally I could have a woman...
whom I can care for the rest of my life.
Since then, I swear to myself,
I want to protect you my whole life, I won't let anyone hurt you.
All right, you come to protect me.
I am scared. I'm worried that if I told you the truth,
you would never talk to me.
He is so cute.
Linglong, although you are pretty,
time flies and it can ruin your pretty face.
In these years, I read many books.
Finally I found out an anti-aging method...
which can also help you to lift your face.
What is it?
There are many acupuncture points along the cheeks.
If you hold your fist and punch lightly like this,
massage for fifteen minutes everyday,
sure it will bring you magnificent effect.
Like this.
- Like this? - Yes.
Nonsense. Who will believe in you?
Have you heard enough?
- Let me teach them a lesson. - Forget it.
Brad.
What's up?
Do you recognize this carriage?
Nope.
It is the same as the one we saw at the tea kiosk, it must be Jin's carriage.
So what?
Go check it out.
If the White Jade Goddess is inside, let's move.
It's late, and it's dangerous outside.
There are wolves and snakes outside.
But you are a tough guy, what are you afraid of?
But there are not many handsome guys now.
God won't let me die like this.
To hell with you.
Hey, let's go.
It's late and cold, better stay inside.
We just want to cool off out there, don't panic.
Don't stick to the door please.
Linglong said no, that's an order.
Do you want to beat me?
Let's go.
Gentlemen.
Take my advice, Jin Buer is a tough guy, better leave him alone.
Let Captain Iron handle him.
Sometimes you want the investigation, sometimes you want the bird.
I am not sure what you want.
Let's wait for the auction then.
Auction? You wolf.
Look. A flirting heart makes you aim badly.
I am driven mad by that bitch. She flirts with my man.
She is just a bitch.
Hey, this is man.
They fall in love so easily.
As I think, the man that you are falling for,
he is just a playboy.
My man is better, he is rather honest.
Sis, what should I do?
I don't know.
But for me, I would rather be pro-active.
I will act first, when everything is settled,
I will then marry him at once.
I don't want to do that.
So I will leave you alone then.
You are of two minds.
Better go to hell.
I am not.
No? But you want to go out, why don't you go out?
You like this one and that one too.
Hey, I saw your guilty conscience.
If not, how could I escape?
I tell you, you can't woo a bird like this.
Why are you dressed like this?
Do you like that?
You have a good figure.
You are open and straight forward, I like that.
What do you want? Tell me.
I think you know it pretty well.
But a man and a woman stay alone, the woman will lose at last.
Be frank, you know why I am here?
I came here for your beauty.
It's useless even if you cry for help.
Better listen to me.
Let me ask you, when you saw the lady boss,
why did you act like you are possessed?
We are just friends.
Friends...
This is the standard answer of men.
We are just friends.
We haven't touched hands, right?
Nothing happened.
Nothing?
Now this is friendship.
But soon, it will become more than friendship.
Now you haven't touched her hand.
Soon, you will touch her whole body.
Let me ask you, who is prettier? She or me?
What a dignified question. Of course my answer is you.
If not, you would cut my balls off.
So, do you want her or me?
I want you of course.
If not, you would kill me.
So you are putting me off.
It hurts.
But I am afraid of being pregnant.
Don't worry, no such coincidence.
What if it happens?
Don't worry, I'll be responsible for that.
You will feed the baby.
But I will do all the housework, right?
What is that in your mouth?
What?
This is from the notorious rapist Ren Yingxiao.
To make it simple, this is aphrodisiac.
Oh no.
Do you have any more? One more please.
All for you.
Come on, it works now.
Come on.
Here I am.
Oh, you bastard.
You made me fall.
Why are you so anxious?
Oh my God. May God bless you.
I am going to ask for help.
But I don't know what to do next.
Don't bite me.
Buddies, I came from Sichuan.
My meat is hot.
I don't care.
- Your sis fell outside the window. - I don't care.
- There are many snakes outside. - I don't care.
Stop.
I won't fall for that bitch.
Save your sis now.
I have to save my sis now.
Sis, don't panic, we are here to save you.
Hurry up. Where are you?
We will get some sulfur, the snakes will be scared away.
No need.
Get someone to help me walk.
I have numb hands and legs, I just can't walk.
Can you hear me?
- Get someone to help her walk. - Get someone to help her walk.
Get someone to help her walk.
So, let's get one to help.
Okay. Okay.
Why did you push me out?
I heard you saying "Get me to help".
Hubby, thank you for saving me.
No hubby, call me Brad.
Hey, the snakes seem to be unfriendly.
Yes, why don't you cover me?
How?
Let's distract their attention.
How?
You'd better scare them.
Come on, don't be that silly.
Hey, it works.
What should we do?
Don't come over.
You bitch.
Your hand.
Catch it.
Thank you.
Let's see who is seriously injured.
Who is seriously injured?
This guy is seriously hurt.
Let's cure him first.
Oh, it's me.
My ass was bitten.
You are his best friends. Who is going to suck the venom out of him?
Don't look at me.
Hey, you are his friend, better help him.
Have you slept with him?
Not yet.
Have you forgotten that I am a doctor?
Here comes the professional.
Doctor, come and suck.
But I can use the needle.
That's great.
What a long one. Where do you want to stick it?
You don't want to know that.
Be careful.
Are those people laughing at me?
Nope.
Are you okay?
What are you laughing at?
- What are you laughing at? - No laughing.
What's up?
Captain wants to talk to you.
Sir, here they are.
Guys, come and take a look.
We wanted to check this carriage last night.
Do you think no one is around the carriage?
The three masked guys guard that carriage the whole night.
Around the carriage, it is surrounded with hairy threads.
They all link to traps with arrows.
If you get close,
you'll be shot like a hedgehog.
Why do you want to see me?
I have got a letter by the pigeon.
It proves that you two are innocent.
You guys are not Jin's fellows.
"Young Master and Brad are innocent."
"Those girls are bandits, no threats. Wen's identity is unknown, no record."
These are the facts.
I heard that you dream for being a Gold Shield Constable.
If you are willing to,
I can make you a grade one constable.
I will arrest Jin Buer.
I will take your place and become the captain.
What an ambitious man.
I like that.
If you catch Jin Buer,
I will let you take my place...
as the captain.
How about us?
If I get them, the award will go to them.
Sure.
A big storm will come, it may come between one and three o'clock.
After the auction,
we need to exterminate all our enemies.
Then we stay in the inn.
We won't let Red Dragon and his gang comes in.
Once the storm arrives, they will all die.
At the same time, Zhu will take my medal to Shanhaiguan for more soldiers.
Isn't it too dangerous to go out now?
If you all understand, we will stick to our own post.
Sir, just count on me, I will make it.
Sir, there is quicksand around.
It's dangerous to walk around.
You'd better stay inside the inn.
Ride.
Bastard.
I told you, there is quicksand around.
Enjoy.
Mr. Tudor, how are you?
It's scary.
I haven't met such horrible tornado before.
What? You met a tornado?
This is really horrible.
Luckily we found that early and escaped.
I witnessed a team of merchants who failed to escape.
They were swallowed together with the camels.
I don't know where they are.
If the tornado comes here,
can this house stand?
Don't worry.
This inn was built with steel piles.
Each was deeply fixed five meters underground.
For the wood on top,
each was fixed tightly by twelve copper nails.
It can withstand big storm and tornado.
Hey,
when will the auction start?
Yes. When to start?
Same as last year, it will start at 9 pm.
- Hu Wa, Lanlan. - Yes.
Please send them all good wine.
One pot each, on the house.
Bravo. Thank you.
Hey, let's go down and move.
Just these scums. I can handle it.
You count one two three, then I will fix them all.
Can you make it?
One, two, three...
Go to hell.
I will beat you later.
I want to drink some water.
Save your breath.
One hundred, one hundred and one...
How come such super masters are kept in the basement?
You should never judge people from their looks.
They were four Copper Men from the Shaolin Temple.
They have tough body, no swords or weapons can hurt them.
Since they broke the temple rules and were expelled, Linglong let them stay.
Linglong knows someone would mess up the auction.
She wants me to guard here.
I can't imagine that it's you two.
Hey, since we are friends, you'd better leave us alone.
But I must keep my promise.
Guys, better leave now.
So, I am so sorry.
Save it. You are no match for him.
Hey, what is he responsible for?
We are helping our friends too.
We can't leave like that. Go.
It hurts.
I stabbed the acupuncture points...
which are good to your health.
Don't worry, it's of no harm.
Hey, you can't beat him, what should we do?
I can't make it, I think I must commit suicide.
No.
It's sweet.
How come a man has milk?
Oh no.
Of course.
This is my special drug named "Game over".
It is specially made to fix those kind-hearted fools.
Fall down.
Come on, drink more. Good wine.
I don't mean it.
Serve you right. I feel dizzy.
Stand still...
Come on. Good wine.
Dear friends, the treasure auction now begins.
You can bring your treasure to the stage now.
This is Longquan Sword, it is the most powerful sword in the world.
The price is thirty thousand taels of silver.
Why does it cost so much? Longquan Sword?
This is the treasure awarded to the general by the emperor.
Jade and silk cloak.
It can protect the wearer from fire and weapons,
costs eighty thousand taels of silver.
Eighty thousand taels of silver? Does it worth?
This is Snowy Lotus from Tienshan.
It is the best medicine of the world, it cures all kinds of poison.
The price is one hundred thousand taels of silver.
Get down now.
All are trash.
The most valuable treasure is with Jin Buer.
Jin Buer?
Jin, tell me how much the White Jade Goddess costs.
I, Tong Tianpeng, the King of Gold can afford it.
Master Tong,
we all know that your Gold Mountain Bank is rich in cash.
But it is already sold.
Who is the buyer?
Red Dragon.
At what price?
A price that you can't afford.
My bank is as rich as the court.
I can afford any price you claim, I...
Master.
Master, what's up?
Are you all right?
What's the matter?
Lady boss, what do you mean?
Bull shit.
I am always a fair person.
Tell me, who is messing up here?
It's me.
It's you?
The court wants to arrest Jin Buer, no one should bother.
Are you from the court?
That's right.
He is the Gold Shield Constable.
For those who don't want to be involved, step aside.
Captain Iron from the court wants to arrest Jin and his gang.
Captain Iron, why do you want to arrest me?
You have to prove it.
From the White Jade Goddess in your carriage.
White Jade Goddess inside my carriage? Who saw it?
Cut the crap.
Get him.
They are fakes.
Acoustic Power.
Everyone out.
Run. Everybody run.
Jin, how dare you mess up my auction?
I want to kill you.
You...
Be careful.
Captain Iron, are you crazy?
Let her go.
The sword in the broadsword is as fast as lightening.
You are the one who killed Yuan Yong.
Your grandpa taught you good stuffs.
But he didn't teach you one thing.
That is defending yourself from your enemies.
I can't imagine that you have become a thief.
I have been an honest officer...
in the past 30 years.
Except one thousand two hundred taels of silver a year from the court,
what else have I got?
But enemies all over the world.
My parents, my wife and son were all killed by my enemies.
If I go on working as a chief,
I will be killed by my enemy one day.
As an option, I chose to earn some money and go into seclusion.
You can't escape.
Yes, no one can escape tonight.
Except us.
I will burn this place down.
Only bones and ashes will be left.
The court will take me die at work.
Maybe they will grant me an honor.
Yu Linglong is hurt, your girl is in my hands.
Do you think you can beat us five?
Count me in too.
I think you are dying.
Do you want us to send you to hell now?
We can have meaningful death.
If I can die for Linglong, it's the most meaningful death.
You still have mood to say nonsense. It's a matter of death, man.
Okay, I'll send you guys to hell now.
Go.
Killing Shower.
Danger.
Hu Wa.
Sis Ling-long.
Killing Shower
Killing...
Damn your shower.
Dare you go after them?
Forget about them.
Hey, your hubby left you alone.
Why not marry me?
Let her go.
I can be a bandit.
But I won't allow my fellows to be rapists.
You can kill her.
But you can't ruin her honour.
Forget it, we are family.
Hey, your situation is critical.
I was attacked by Tang Ao's poisonous weapons.
I took the antidotes already.
But I will become blind in two weeks time.
How about Yu Linglong?
I checked her wounds with hands.
Luckily she is protected by her air stance.
It saved her from serious wound.
The wound isn't deep, her organs are not hurt.
But she bleeds a lot, I must stitch her up.
And then acupuncture for twelve main points.
It is to stimulate her self-treatment power, then she will be fine.
Who is going to stitch her up?
You.
I know nothing about that.
You operate it by following my instructions.
How can I make it?
Come on, you are a man.
To cure Linglong, you have to touch her.
In that case, she cannot marry another man in future.
So I must find her a man she likes.
I know she likes you.
Do you want her to die like this?
Hey. Okay, stop.
Don't let my sister know this.
Have you figured out anything? Dawn is coming.
When the Silver Armor Army comes,
we will have no time.
Save my sister.
I am thinking.
Grandpa taught me that...
the essence of strategy is patience.
If we can't be patient, we will fail.
Captain Iron, everything is ready.
This is your share.
Red Dragon will come soon.
I hope he can come before the heavy storm.
After the delivery, we can split the fifty thousand taels of gold.
Then, we will go our own ways and never meet again.
Hey, how about the other treasures?
The lotus, the cloak and the Longquan Sword, have you found them?
I search every inch of the inn but failed to find them.
Search again.
Yes sir.
Yes.
People said Jin and Captain Iron are powerful kung-fu masters.
Together with Lady Fox, King of Eagle Claws and Tang Ao.
About us, only Wen and I are better in kung-fu.
Linglong is hurt, and you two,
you know nothing but flirting.
I know what you are thinking now.
Grade A against grade B.
Grade B against grade C.
Grade C against grade A.
Who is grade C?
We will be killed.
Stop pretending.
Show up if you're a powerful kung-fu master.
Here comes the powerful kung-fu master.
Kill them.
Beat them.
Do you want to fetch the sword?
I noticed that your legs are not that strong last time.
But you can have no escape this time.
No weapons can hurt you?
Isn't it tough?
It's weird. Why aren't you dead?
I am alive to kill you.
Little lute?
Lady, repent and go straight.
May the Buddha have mercy on you. Rest in peace.
You distract their attention.
Hey, let's call it a day. Let's go.
Longquan Sword?
Of course I would pick any good stuff by any chance.
Two against two, it's a fair game.
Okay, I'll send you to meet your grandpa.
The cloak can be an underwear.
Killing Shower.
For the rest, tailor an underwear for me please.
I want to make it a dress.
It's okay.
Your grandpa is right.
Speed is the essence of kung-fu.
But my sword is faster than you.
I forgot to tell you,
when I worked in the kitchen,
I played knife ten times faster than you.
I shouldn't lie.
I ate the Snowy Lotus four hours before.
My eyes were cured. Sorry for lying.
Don't move.
Hey.
I stabbed your acupunctures, you can't have big movements.
Hubby.
Are you alright?
- Hey, what should we do? - Yeah.
The door is breaking.
Let's defend to the last, when the tornado comes,
they will be dead meat.
Let's hide in the basement, okay?
But after the tornado leaves, when they set fire to the basement,
we will be burnt to death.
Do you have another good idea?
There are three points on the roof.
If the three of us go up and explode the roof,
the tornado will bring everything away.
But the three will die too.
There are three chains on the poles.
If we tie ourselves with the chains,
we will have a chance.
I will go with you.
Take the explosives with you.
Okay.
I will go with you too.
No, it's dangerous.
Brad, take care of her for me.
I will be responsible for that.
Close the door.
No. Let us in.
Help. Let us in.
White Jade Goddess, finally I've found you.
General, some people are above.
There are three people.
Go to hell with this White Jade Goddess, Red Dragon.
Fire.
Kill them.
Don't panic.
I am scared.
But you don't need to kill me.
Linglong, hold it tight.
Linglong.
Hubby.
What grandpa taught me...
- How are you? - I experienced all in my life.
Sacrifice is the essence of love. Are you all right?
Wen sacrificed his life for love.
He won.
I sacrificed a woman who is like a dream.
But I won a real one in my arms.
At a result, I am the winner.
Brad's dream came true too.
He has a shop to offer women plastic surgery
and cure man's impotence.
The business is wonderful.
He has a lot of children now because he cures his own impotence.
And Lady Fire Dragon becomes his model.
Hey, Is the food ready?
You spent a few hours preparing food.
The kids are hungry and the baby should be fed too.
You'd better feed the baby first.
Are you kidding me?
It has sucked for few hours, can you see that?
My tit swells.
Fish is coming, hit.
Oh, I am sorry.
So you can see that, a woman with small tits.
- They are not wise either. - I am so sorry.